I think that the awareness you speak of starts early, in the home. For most of us our first audience is comprised of our parents. We'll do anything, say anything, to get and keep their attention. I see it in my own toddler. Admittedly, I've contributed to that. I've made him aware that I'm watching, always trying to catch him doing something new or interesting or strange or potentially dangerous. How can the poor thing breathe easy and just be, I wonder? (He used to be that way you know, when he first entered the world. Us, doting parents, changed that. Yeah.)

I think I spend too much time "flickring" his life. I don't just let him be and do without trying to make it a picture moment. I'm going to ease up. It's already enough that I've destroyed many a moment of concentration when he was on two feet, waddling, trying to get into this walking thing, when he hears my squeal and camera turning on, and he plops on his bum and physically turns away from me. Shyness? Guiltily, I know it's not just shyness. It's probably his way of saying, "Enough ma, just let me be."

That said, if I had my entire family all together in one place, all of the time, much like a small tribe, I wouldn't always have to put myself or my life in the limelight. I probably would just be allowed to live in an unselfconscious way. In my reality, however, everything I/we do on a day-to-day basis is accounted for and thusly, scrutinized. When that happens it's very hard not to try and put only "your best" (or most interesting?) out there, if only to spare Mom and Dad, on the other side of the country, worries or worse, boredom. I guess I haven't changed much since childhood. Still trying to please that first audience. I wonder if the Huichols have some parenting secret they could be coaxed into sharing with the rest of us... or by writing this and me reading it, maybe you have. Awareness. I'm in it.

And I might well agree excepting I think that you forget what it is to smell like poo, have no breasts, wear funny looking glasses, everything that you wear comes from your mother dressing code or to generally feel like a dork for your entire childhood existence.

To be loved is everything, acceptance when you have no individualitly, expression and everything that you feel is less than. That is because you are a child.
Just for for today, Madonna or whom ever are there heroes, as they can identify with that kind of image from media's or TV.

It's all about the love.

It's funny when you grow up in a westernized society where we live for movies, photography and other 'imaginables' that take us away other places. As youths here, we learn this ability to 'act out' our own living movies, and I bet this is a very American experience. There is an upside to this effect. Most American movies have decent moral themes. These movies are designed for the viewer to relate to the 'good' character. So in a sense we are programming our youth to do the right thing. Many of us have gotten much more education from a good movie then some of our best college classes. The bad part is we start to think too much about who we are are, and what we 'look like' in given situations. It must have been refreshing hanging out with people who could care less about what you think of them. But I can see, if you did that over time it could also be frustrating as well. A fine post Caterina.

David Martinez
http://www.seidon.com/
http://www.futurefront.com/

What is interesting to me is that via flickr you have created a giant platform for disconnected people to have audiences. It can't have escaped your notice that there is a strong culture of self-portraiture and exhibitionism on the site. Not only exhibitionism in the obvious sense but emotional exhibitionism... So you are helping facilitate the idea that one should have an audience (what are friend's lists really but an audience?). And I think this is ok. Culture, exposure to the other, forces us to recognize our actions have impact and it would be impossible for most of us to retreat back into a world where everyone comes from the same tribe and understands each other, where there are few unexpected actions, and there is no need for audience. I think this is a good thing.

Someone amended the famous Warhol quote to say "In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen people" and I think it's true. :-)

There's a difference between sharing and performing though, and I think it's crucial. The culture of generosity can so easily tip into the culture of self-exploitation. I find the camgirls and self-objectifiers online somewhat alarming; they're another online example of what Lauren Greenfield was capturing in her Girl Culture series.

Ahh. . . After I saw the sight, Lauren Greenfield's Girl Culture. Yea, it repulsive, yet that is an annonymonly only don't you think ? ( Very well done; but he had to go to like 6 different states )
That's not the norm, is it in your house ?

But getting back to your original thread about sharing vs. performing it is very true. Being true to yourself. Honor, truth, selflessness, treasured morals that are looked down upon today, when we all want the easier, quicker, richer road.
Tougher still when the very ones who should be teaching us, are motivated by greed, wanting & more.
We are a media based soiciety where our entire lives are based upon ,"How Much."

Very much like doing something nice for someone, and telling no one. It is a spiritual thing.
Where as the minute that you tell someone, you now have a different motive.
Respect, grace, and being true to yourself takes a life time of mistakes to unlearn.
God help the little ones.

Great post. I'd like to hear more about the Huichols sometime.

Where do you think this unselfconsciousness comes from? I mean, they must have notions of status and shame; pretty much all societies do.